7.19.2011

Fuck Love! (yeah I said it!)

Well, I've been feeling a little down lately and dealing with a lot on my plate. I was betrayed by the one person that I thought cared for me, but I guess that was a lie. I wish I can reveal the details, however I decided not too. The iron gates are back around my heart and I'm not sure if it will or can be opened again all that will come in due time. My mind is so cloudy right now and I just want to scream or throw something (not my new glasses I just bought that will suck), but you get my point.

If you are reading this can you ever forgive someone that betrayed you!? I find it absurd, yet possible. I'm usually an optimist, but even that is questionable. Life has the funniest way of giving you a swift kick in the ass, and trust me I have the foot prints on my bottom as I type!!! (hehe). I sat at Lake Michigan under a fog trying to figure out what I need to do, and I must admit that I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do, but it will come with very strict limitations.

In the mean time, I need to focus on me and the things I want and like to do. My life has revolved around so many people that I finally realized that I need to get back to me and embrace this new life that I envisioned for  myself and my children. I WILL NOT put myself in another situation like this ever again. Cheers to my new journey, whatever that may be!

Toodles,

Nikki

3 comments:

Plum said...

Its hard, and take a lot of time. After 2 horrific years of marriage to my ex,three of his girlfriends later and a divorce 8 years ago, I can finally say I've forgiven him. Not at all to be confused with liking him in the least!

~Mistee~ said...

Thinking of u!!! It will be better soon!!

Mocha said...

I am not sure what your beliefs are but I want to tell you to Trust in God. No matter the situation, there is a divine plan in life for you and your children and the one you love.